When the carpet doesn’t match the drapes…

So last night, I open my Chrome browser and navigate to the Google News page. This is the image/headline I am greeted with:

Can you believe this shit?

Immediately, I assume the lottery winner is some poor woman who has apparently been involved in a domestic dispute. And then I start thinking, “Jeez, maybe you should’ve waited to claim your prize when you had access to some foundation and some blush? And even so, why doesn’t she look happy? Even with a shiner, I’d be wearing a shit-eating grin that says ‘Guess what sombitch is gon’ regret punchin’ me in the face?'”

Well, it turns out the headline and the photo aren’t related at all (no surprise). I imagine Google just has some random photo swapping algorithm which cycles different photos on the news home page. I encountered a similar situation a few months back when dictator Muammar Gaddafi was captured and killed in Libya and the whole thing was caught on tape. Before the online video began, a message came up at the bottom of the window that said:

Your video: “Gaddafi Lynched by Mob” will resume in 20 seconds after this advertisement…

And then they played a commercial for Carpet Fresh.

Because, you know, there is nothing I associate with vigilante justice more than covering up the odor of cat dander.