Today, I was reading the news, and I came across an online article about San Francisco banning public nudity (ahem, at least year-round public nudity), and I was struck by the hilarious in-jokes of whoever wrote this thing. I have taken the liberty of reproducing the article below with red text to show the hidden messages between the lines:
Beginning with the sentiment that not all public nudity is bad.
“It has its place,” said the nude ban author, Supervisor Scott Wiener. “We’re just trying to chart some kind of middle path.”
That has resulted in some pretty entertaining rationalizations.
For starters, the idea behind the ban is to protect children from the shock of seeing genitalia. Yet the ban exempts some very public events with politically powerful constituencies, such as the Pride Parade and the Folsom Street Fair.
“People at these events expect to see nudity,” Wiener said. “You can choose to go or not go. It’s not 365 days a year in a neighborhood.”
Fashion also played a role in the legislation, with bare butts being exempted as well.
“This legislation is really about genitals,” Wiener said. “I’m not looking to get anyone arrested because they are showing a plumber’s crack or wearing a bikini.”
Some questions, however, remain unresolved. For example, bare-bottom cowboy chaps are acceptable – but what happens when the bare buttocks bend over?
To be determined.
“Like I said, we’re trying to chart a middle path,” Wiener said.
You be the judge.